Deepest Desires Documentary

I watched this episode of a series called Human Instinct.

Born to Survive - Human Instinct

It's all very interesting and that, but what it basically boils down to is...

1. women are going to cheat when they're ovulating with men that look like... ermmmm... chimps and gorillas.
2. men want to fuck women with big boobs and hips.
3. women like well toned, triangle shaped men as they will be far better at producing ideal offpsring
4. men want to fuck as much as possible.
5. women prefer baby faced men when not ovulating (but are less likely to cheat then, so Justin Bieber is pretty safe).

So, all in all...

Women are pretty fussy about who they fuck, but will cheat on you between day 10 and 15 of their menstrual cycle with Monkeyboy.

Men just want to fuck!

Like we didn't already know this....

No work tomorrow...

It's nice waking up on a Sunday knowing that I do not have to go to work tomorrow. But do you know what's crazy? I'm now worrying about that last Sunday night before I go back to work in 3 weeks time. This only happens when I am half way through a school break.

On that very last Sunday before the first Monday back, I can never sleep properly. I lay awake most of the night. It is not just kids that have these awful anxious nights of worry and panic about going back to school you know! Teachers do too!

Only 10 days till P is back. Not sure if I said, but P went on holiday. I did too but just before I got back, P went away. NOT GOOD! I am missing P a lot. It is very hard to have the motivation to go to the gym by yourself. And my days for the last week have been a little empty. Haha! Sounds a bit mad doesn't it. I do have plenty to do and plenty of people I really need to catch up with, including my family, but I just can't be bothered at the moment.

Cleaned the shower yesterday.... Wow! Fun times huh?! It really did need to be done though. Kept putting off.

Oh, I read this book on holiday. One Day by David Nicholls. It is really good. A really true reflection of lifes rollercoaster. And a fair amount I can relate to aswell.

Amazing! Stick-on electronic tattoos!

Stick-on Electronic Tattoos

A few amusing exam answers

Sample answers from the end of year exams. Thankfully these were few and far between otherwise I would have been somewhat concerned! Kept me amused though.






  

Quick update

I have now experienced cycling on the road, several times.... and I am still alive!!! It's bloody hard work though. I need to practise a lot before I am able to cope with cycling to work, thats for sure!

Love the feeling of being out in the fresh air and exercising. Clears the mind and improves my mood.

Schools out for summer!

Finally made it! The summer holidays! From the first day back in September, this is the moment that every teacher longs for... that very first Monday morning of the summer holidays, knowing that as the rest of the world struggle to get out of bed, the majority of the teaching profession will stir at about 6.30am, look at the time, smile, then turn over and go back to sleep for a while longer. Knowing that for at least the next 6 weeks Monday mornings won't be filled with anxiety and dread about what the day ahead will bring.

Which does bring me nicely onto something a little mad I thought I would do. The cycle to work scheme... Hmmm... So now I have a bike to pick up, along with some essential accessories. I have convinced myself that I will be able to cycle to work. Yes, actually get out of my beloved bed at least 45 minutes earlier than usual, and cycle to work. As long as I do this at least once (and I don't mean once a week), I think I can justify this foolish decision. What seems to be of amusement to the majority of my colleagues is that the idea of my best friend in the world (P) and I will be attempting this ride to school together, with no idea of the rules of the road, and the slight anxiety of knowing we will need to take a hand off the handlebars at some point to indicate which way we are about to turn.

Having thought a little about this and read a leaflet the kind man in the cycle shop gave me, I am perhaps thinking public liability insurance may well be worth while... particularly if you have ever seen P and I do anything together, that requires concentration. So easily distracted, so easily amused, sand to be honest, so easily confused!

Avez Vouz une pomme de terre, sil vous plait?

I had an email from a collegue today who has been off work for at least two months now. It was good to hear from this person as there are a few of us at work that have been worried. A couple of my other close work collegues got the same email which was asking about how things were going and for any good news.

Three of my friends replied with 'good news'. New appointments in their faculty, new babies, planned holidays blah blah blah...

I have no 'good news'. Not even 'news' to be honest. In fact the best 'news' I could muster up was the fact that I had mixed nuts and dried cranberries for lunch today. And then I remembered a conversation I had yesterday with the deputy head.

The DHT has been messing around with the bloody deployment, for next year, for over three weeks now. Then yesterday morning, the words 'I need to have a quick chat with you about deployment' came.

Brilliant, I thought, here we go. What the hell has he come up with now?
Oh, I was so right!

'You may have to teach a little bit of French next year'.

French!!
What the fuck!
French??

The only French I know (apart from the title of this post) is as follows. And you will need to excuse the spelling, as I haven't got a bloody clue.

1. Ferme la bouche - Not really appropriate to be saying to, or teaching, 13 & 14 year olds.
2. Menage a trois - Ermmmm.... well, there really is nothing more I can say about that!
3. Voulez Vous coucher avec moi ce soir? - Hmmmm.... errrrrr...

So, I am not so sure that this will impress the parents, get the students through their GCSE's or leave me with a job!!

I am currently working on the DHT with all my charm and persuasion, until he sees the light and realises what a complete and utter fuck up it would be for me to teach the language of love to 14 year olds (or is that Italian?)