Thursday, 7 July 2011

Avez Vouz une pomme de terre, sil vous plait?

I had an email from a collegue today who has been off work for at least two months now. It was good to hear from this person as there are a few of us at work that have been worried. A couple of my other close work collegues got the same email which was asking about how things were going and for any good news.

Three of my friends replied with 'good news'. New appointments in their faculty, new babies, planned holidays blah blah blah...

I have no 'good news'. Not even 'news' to be honest. In fact the best 'news' I could muster up was the fact that I had mixed nuts and dried cranberries for lunch today. And then I remembered a conversation I had yesterday with the deputy head.

The DHT has been messing around with the bloody deployment, for next year, for over three weeks now. Then yesterday morning, the words 'I need to have a quick chat with you about deployment' came.

Brilliant, I thought, here we go. What the hell has he come up with now?
Oh, I was so right!

'You may have to teach a little bit of French next year'.

What the fuck!

The only French I know (apart from the title of this post) is as follows. And you will need to excuse the spelling, as I haven't got a bloody clue.

1. Ferme la bouche - Not really appropriate to be saying to, or teaching, 13 & 14 year olds.
2. Menage a trois - Ermmmm.... well, there really is nothing more I can say about that!
3. Voulez Vous coucher avec moi ce soir? - Hmmmm.... errrrrr...

So, I am not so sure that this will impress the parents, get the students through their GCSE's or leave me with a job!!

I am currently working on the DHT with all my charm and persuasion, until he sees the light and realises what a complete and utter fuck up it would be for me to teach the language of love to 14 year olds (or is that Italian?)

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