I am just on my way home from meeting up with my cousin and sister.
I have just heard, from my cousin, just about the funniest line ever.
We were strolling around central London, catching up, chatting about everything and anything. Then, this...
"Did I tell you about the time I accidentally sang karaoke in a Malaysian brothel?"
Are you fucking kidding me?! Did you actually just say that?
There are so many things wrong with that sentence.
1. How does one ACCIDENTALLY sing karaoke? Either you make the decision to hold a mic and sing into it, whilst reading words from a screen, or you don't. There is no accident about this at all.
2. Karaoke? Really? What the fuck? Why? Just why? No one can sing karaoke and be good at it.
3. A Malaysian brothel??!! How the fuck did that happen? How could a group of white young women in their 20's end up in a brothel, accidentally? Surely to god you would notice? Surely the scantily clad whores fucking men would give it away, no? Obviously not!
I love my cousin dearly, but if you thought I was the ditsy one in the family, the you need to think again. I take all credit on passing on all my ditsiness (I know that's not a bloody word!)and she has clearly followed all my rules on how to attract men.
I am proud of my little padawan!
That is all.