Thursday, 13 October 2011

Did I tell you about the time...

I am just on my way home from meeting up with my cousin and sister.
I have just heard, from my cousin, just about the funniest line ever.

We were strolling around central London, catching up, chatting about everything and anything. Then, this...

"Did I tell you about the time I accidentally sang karaoke in a Malaysian brothel?"

Are you fucking kidding me?! Did you actually just say that?
There are so many things wrong with that sentence.

1. How does one ACCIDENTALLY sing karaoke? Either you make the decision to hold a mic and sing into it, whilst reading words from a screen, or you don't. There is no accident about this at all.

2. Karaoke? Really? What the fuck? Why? Just why? No one can sing karaoke and be good at it.

3. A Malaysian brothel??!! How the fuck did that happen? How could a group of white young women in their 20's end up in a brothel, accidentally? Surely to god you would notice? Surely the scantily clad whores fucking men would give it away, no? Obviously not!

I love my cousin dearly, but if you thought I was the ditsy one in the family, the you need to think again. I take all credit on passing on all my ditsiness (I know that's not a bloody word!)and she has clearly followed all my rules on how to attract men.

I am proud of my little padawan!

That is all.


  1. I sang karaoke once and an accident happened while doing so. My first(and last), ever attempt to sing and the words on the screen were scrambled. Couldn't read a damn word while trying to sing an impossible song by candlebox.

    And it was in a bar rumored to be a gay hangout. (no, I'm not gay)

    Other than that, I can't say that I've accidentally stumbled into a brothel and sang karaoke.

    But your cousin sounds...umm? Special.

  2. At the risk of sounding dumb, what is a padawan Miss Teacher? By the way, I've heard it is not that hard to accidentally wonder into a Malaysian brothel...or Taiwanese. I've just heard. I'm just sayin...

  3. I really hate karaoke. >:3

  4. hahaha, what did she sing tho? And did she get paid for it...I accidentally ended up in a strip club in Costa Rica..turns out night club means something entirely different over there, oh well at least it was free in for me.

  5. This is an excellent post as usual. I'm a karaoke lover, I can't see why anyone would hate it.

  6. Another great post! Keep up with the excellent blogging! You're really good at it! -

  7. I want ti hear that entire story.

    And also let me know the next time a girly night out is planned.Lol.

    Ps I think we alll need to start sending D22 to the spam folder, I have seen that exact same comment from him/her left on four blogs in the last hour

  8. Oh dear.
    I wrote that ^ on an ipad this afternoon. Two howling typos and on a teachers blog.
    That'll be me getting a D- then.

  9. Oh come on, that HAS to be a hell of a story. I would be proud to tell it, no doubt. I fail to see how all that happened by accident though, perhaps she was just a little ashamed to admit she loved it. Pretty much like every proctologist story around, all of them were "an unfortunate accident".

  10. Of course YOU can sing karaoke AND be good at it. Here's one for you, from one cruel colleague to another:

    It's OK to say you liked the experience. We won't hold it against you. And, of course, if after a tough day in your very own classroom (slash sanctuary) you feel the need to let off some steam, no one's gonna stop you - not even if you feel the urge to youtube your performance. How's that for encouragement?

  11. @Bersecules... She is VERY interesting. Trust me.
    @Dan... are you sure you didn't realise it was a gay bar? Not even a little bit? My cousin is special.
    @Barfly... a Padawan is a young trainee jedi knight.
    @Bolg... Karaoke is only fun when you have consumed copious amounts of vodka and so have no recollection of it.
    @PTR... a strip club in Costa Rica. That sounds like fun to me!
    @Waffles.. you carry on with your karaoke. You can sing a song for me.
    @D22... really? the same comment on sooo many other peoples blogs. BORING.
    @DCG... I have a girls night out planned for this Thursday. Not sure what Friday is going to turn out like. And what is D22 actually doing?
    @HP... really, it was an honest mistake apparently. I am not so sure either. I would have tried earning a few quid whilst there.
    @RCB... WHAT? Are you trying to seduce me into singing karaoke, then video it, then place it into the public domain for all to see? ARE YOU OFF YOUR TROLLEY?! I did have a little hum to it though. Oh, I'm rollin', rollin', rollin' on a river.

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