I spoke far too soon about not falling off my bike.
I kept faithfully to my promises about cycling to work (in fact, I have cycled two days out of three) only to be repaid with, what can only be described as, a comical act of self harm, in public, at a pretty major road junction, during 'drive time' or 'rush hour' (whatever you want to call it). All I know is that there was lots of cars. And my brain did not engage as quickly as I would have liked. My brain certainly wasn't in communication with my feet or hands that's for sure.
It went something like this...
That car is stopping.... I should stop.
No, no, that car is going....I won't stop
Fuck, no, that car is definitely stopping.
I need to stop.
Ok, I don't seem to be stopping.
Why am I not stopping?
I need to use brakes.
No, FUCK FUCK FUCK...
Where are my feet???!!!
How are my feet still attached to my pedals?
Yep... I am now falling off my bike.
Brilliant... I look like a complete twat!
Now I have to get up and pretend everything is ok.
OH GOD... that man is getting out of his van.
He's talking to me! Bollocks. Oh, the shame.
Well of course I am fine, this happens ALL the time... I'm a professional don't you know?!
Oh no... he's waiting for me to get up and go.
Just go you stupid man.
You are very kind to stop and check that I'm ok, but please, please please just go....
Nope, he is still there.
I need to get on my bike.
Why don't the pedals work?
Oh, come on now... why aren't you bloody working?
STUPID STUPID STUPID BIKE.
I HATE YOU.
Ok, they're working.
Please God, let there be no more cars.
Right. There is cars. Lots of cars.
God didn't hear my plea.
Probably too busy laughing!
I just need to get home.
ERGHHH... my hand is bleeding.
Arggghhhh... I'm bleeding... I'm actually bleeding.
I then cycled into a bin. I have nothing more I want to say about that. I have no excuse and absolutely no idea how it happened. I tried to hide it. I don't want to talk about it.
I like to think I am now a fully paid up member of the cycling community after my epic fail at coming to a halt and sustaining further bike related injuries (in addtition to those I gained on Sunday). I have bruised the bruises on my leg from Sunday. I have given the other leg some brusing and cuts. I have grazed (deeply grazed) my knuckles. I have a small lump appearing on my elbow.
|Doesnt look like much, but I'm sure it almost required stitches.|
|And NO, it isn't just a little scrape. It bloody hurts!|
I am having a bad day and that doesn't even include what happened in school. But that's a whole other story.
I'm going to eat some chocolate now. I deserve it, damn it! I'm injured!